blow up dolls

I read somewhere that a disgruntled dad had to spend most of Christmas day patching up stab holes in his giant blow up snowman. First of all, why? The damage is done. You have to accept the fact that Frosty met a horrible fate and move on. Why spend a day full of presents and food and family working on something that's meaningless...unless of course you'd rather do that then spend time with the ol' wifey. Ah, now it makes sense!
But why have these grandiose blow up Christmas idols in the first place? I mean, really, you're just asking for trouble. What neighborhood, pint-sized, passive agressive, classmate beating, future serial killer could resist? I even have trouble passing one of those smug colossal bags of air without at least throwing a punch! They just stare at you in a "I'm Frosty and I'm bigger than this house...who the hell are you" kinda way. Honestly most people don't even notice them anymore...unless they're in a deflated mess on some poor schmuck's front lawn. Then we all point and laugh. I guess they do bring joy to the world.

I F-ed up!

I really screwed up my blog on Friday and somehow deleted all of the comments. I must have been tipsy.
Anyway, everything's back to normal so please feel free to comment.
Spank You!

This week, I've learned...

...that there are 200 viruses that can cause the common cold (the waiting room at my doctor's office offers a wealth of knowledge to the sickly) Apparently all 200 viruses love me. I don't know why...I've never been nice to them. So, for the second time this season I am wreaking havoc on my insides with antibiotics. I don't know why they don't give me refills...it would be more economical.
Anyway, here are some tips to avoid catching a cold this winter:
*Wash your hands...all the time...and don't just pretend.
*Get some fresh air during the day...and not just on your cigarette breaks.
*If someone close to you gets sick, shun them from your life.
*Stay away from me.

Update

Christmas ornaments: FOUND!
WooHoo!!

Shout Out to KB

My poor, poor friend KB is overworked. She works way to many hours doing God knows what for a bunch of masochistic bastardos! Why oh why did we leave all our free time and sick days at NTM??
Anyway...big ups to the hardest working KB I know!

First Noodle - it's a wet one

So here is my first blog..finally! I'm not really sure what to write about but this is a nice break from my long, exhausting day of reading magazines and making Christmas lists. Yeah gifts in 18 days!! Oh, and if anyone knows where my box of ornaments went, please let me know...I miss them.
bye bye