Where are all the scary movies?

The week before Halloween should be chuck full of frightening television viewing. My lights are out, the popcorn's ready, but I'm not being entertained. I'm frustrated as I flip through the stations to find none of my classics. Nightmare on Elm Street, The Exorcist and The Shining are no where to be found. Instead of quality monster flicks I'm surrounded by endless reruns of Halloween 5 and Friday the 13th 23! I want to see originals. I want to see movies that scare the bejesus out of me - not low budget B movies that I could have made in my basement with a couple of zealous friends and some fake eyeballs. Now, I do own some of these movies and I could pop them in the DVD player at any time - but that's not the point. I mean, what kind of bizarro world do I live in where the cable networks that I pay good money for can't sufficiently scare the hell out of me during the month of October?? Honestly.

We did it...it's done

We bought a house! I love it! It's the best thing ever! No more noisy neighbors vacuuming at 6AM on Saturday mornings and busses running through my bedroom at ungodly hours. We went through a lot of paint and energy but it was well worth it. Here is a list of tips and insights about owning a house...

One can never be completely sure that a house is 100% ghost free - don't let your guard down
No one told me that I would have to take a chemistry class to take care of a pool
You can't hire a pool boy for a 4ft above the ground
When something breaks and I call the super...I answer
You have more space to clean
The dish washer is the best invention EVER!
The grill is the second best invention...George Forman who?
Weeds! Who the hell invented weeds??? Where's my lawn boy?
When both you and your cat hear the floor squeek and you're the only one home...it's cause for concern
If you see a puddle of water on the basement floor and you have no idea where it came from...it's best to just ignore it
You have to start paying for things like water and heat. Time to cut back on showering and warming up.
A dehumidifier is no joke
Praying and wishing that your neighbor will mow your lawn never works. Selfish bastards!
If your grill sets itself on fire wait until someone else notices it and then let them put it out for you
"Caulking" should only be done by pros