8.5 months pregnant

Yes…it is a journey filled with physical compromises and emotional peaks and valleys that one could not imagine had they never done this before. It is wonderful to feel that little person wiggling around in your belly, assuming he’s not using your bladder as a chew toy and assuming he’s not kicking your rib cage for a field goal.
What do you imagine he’s like? Perfect of course. He’s as cute as a button but will one day be handsome and debonair. He’s smart, maybe even a genius. Surely he’s on his way to becoming a neurosurgeon who will save lives everyday and make the coveted impact on this world that few tend to make. Maybe he’ll run for president, but then again, maybe that’s not a good idea. Maybe he’ll join a boy band when he’s 16 and then branch off by himself to become one of his generation’s most revered singer/songwriters. Soulful – yes, he must be.
Maybe he’ll just do whatever is in his heart. Hopefully he won’t take the easy route and settle. Settle for a certain girl to whom he feels obligated. Settle for a job that he knows isn’t right but hey, he wants his own place. Settle for a suit and tie when he’d rather be wearing jeans and a hard hat (or vice versa).
I don’t even know him yet and I don’t know if I can take it. I don’t know if I can stand knowing his heart has been broken or that some kid pushed him around after school. I need him not to ever feel like a failure or like he’s second best. I need for him to not feel any real human emotions because I can’t take it. I want him to have the best – a Versace suit for his christening, iPods and computers all over the house just waiting for him to use. At the same time, I don’t want him to be spoiled or rotten. He needs to learn how to earn his money and buy things himself. I don’t want to run his life, but yet I do.